Dan's Ramblings » Humor http://www.damnitdan.com What you problably don't care about... Sun, 09 Aug 2009 04:08:45 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.3 en hourly 1 Cheaper than Gas! http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/07/05/175/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/07/05/175/#comments Sat, 05 Jul 2008 13:14:51 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/07/05/175/ I’m usually not one to complain about high gas prices, to be honest I think a continuous high gas price would cut down on the number of idiots on the road. With that being said, my commute to work and back is ~60 miles both ways, and I often have to drive around Kenosha County for work. So, Gas prices are kicking my wallet right now.

I may just have to take this signs advice…

Drink, Don’t Drive

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/07/05/175/feed/ 0 Skilled Employee??? http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/06/03/171/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/06/03/171/#comments Wed, 04 Jun 2008 00:37:07 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/06/03/171/ I’ve been checking out the County websites looking for various Social Worker / Juvenile Justice jobs planning for my future. When I checked out Waukesha County I ran across this job posting:

Semi-Skilled Employee

I think I could handle this one! Only have to be semi-skilled…

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/06/03/171/feed/ 0 Tanks Spill onto Roadway http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/02/22/168/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/02/22/168/#comments Fri, 22 Feb 2008 20:31:09 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/02/22/168/ I ran across this while checking the local news:

MADISON, Wis. – The eastbound lanes of the Beltline are closed from Verona Road to Seminole Highway after a truck crash on Friday afternoon. Madison police said that a truck rolled over and spilled some type of tanks onto the roadway.Stay tuned to WISC-TV and Channel 3000 for continuing coverage.

I hope they weren’t Army Tanks, they don’t like it when their tanks get spilled all over the place…

ok, so its probably not that funny, but I laughed for a while… its the little things…

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2008/02/22/168/feed/ 1 Thanks for clearing it up… http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/12/13/thanks-for-clearing-it-up/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/12/13/thanks-for-clearing-it-up/#comments Thu, 13 Dec 2007 14:34:50 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/12/13/thanks-for-clearing-it-up/ From the Sentinel Review in Ontario, Canada:

In an article in Monday’s newspaper, there may have been a misperception about why a Woodstock man is going to Afghanistan on a voluntary mission. Kevin DeClark is going to Afghanistan to gain life experience to become a police officer when he returns, not to shoot guns and blow things up.

The Sentinel-Review apologizes for any embarrassment this may have caused.

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/12/13/thanks-for-clearing-it-up/feed/ 0 It took me a few seconds too long http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/04/14/it-took-me-a-few-seconds-too-long/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/04/14/it-took-me-a-few-seconds-too-long/#comments Sat, 14 Apr 2007 14:18:39 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/04/14/it-took-me-a-few-seconds-too-long/ Open Range

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/04/14/it-took-me-a-few-seconds-too-long/feed/ 0 Easter Has Been Canceled! http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/04/02/easter-has-been-canceled/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/04/02/easter-has-been-canceled/#comments Mon, 02 Apr 2007 08:55:03 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/04/02/easter-has-been-canceled/ Easter Has Been Canceled

Well at least the commercial aspect of Easter…

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2007/04/02/easter-has-been-canceled/feed/ 0 Why do anything logically??? http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/11/11/why-do-anything-logically/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/11/11/why-do-anything-logically/#comments Sat, 11 Nov 2006 14:36:41 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/11/11/why-do-anything-logically/ I just read an AP article entitled “National Guard Units Face 2nd Tour in Iraq.” There is a quote, talking about the order the military will call up repeat units, that made me chuckle.

“Logic would lead you to go back to the ones that went first, and start going around again,” said Blum. “But that’s probably not exactly how we’ll do it” because the decision will depend partly on what types of units are needed.

I know Blum went on to clarify that it will be based on the needs of the Army but he could have worded his first statement differently and no brought up logic at all.  This just reminds us that logic has no place in today’s military…

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/11/11/why-do-anything-logically/feed/ 0 International Talk Like a Pirate Day http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/09/19/international-talk-like-a-pirate-day/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/09/19/international-talk-like-a-pirate-day/#comments Tue, 19 Sep 2006 07:14:02 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/09/19/international-talk-like-a-pirate-day/ Talk Like A Pirate Day

Ahoy! Me Bucko!, Today I’ll be known as “Pirate Pete The Hideous”. Get Your Own Pirate Name!
Today be International Talk like a Pirate Day! Everyone should celebrate it but you may wish t’ study t’ Pirate Laws and Pirate Glossary so you don’t make a fool o’ yourself.

If we be celebratin’ here in Afghanistan thar be no excuse for you not t’ celebrate it where ever you are.

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/09/19/international-talk-like-a-pirate-day/feed/ 0 Tattoo of the Year http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/08/15/tattoo-of-the-year/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/08/15/tattoo-of-the-year/#comments Wed, 16 Aug 2006 05:17:01 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/08/15/tattoo-of-the-year/ My aunt sent me this picture today.

Tattoo of the Year

I found it pretty funny, then again the back of my head will look like that in a few years…

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/08/15/tattoo-of-the-year/feed/ 0 An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/01/15/an-atheist-was-taking-a-walk-through-the-woods/ http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/01/15/an-atheist-was-taking-a-walk-through-the-woods/#comments Mon, 16 Jan 2006 05:58:28 +0000 Dan http://www.damnitdan.com/blog/2006/01/15/an-atheist-was-taking-a-walk-through-the-woods/ An atheist was taking a walk through the woods.

What majestic trees!

What powerful rivers!

What beautiful animals!” he said to himself as he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes.

Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him.

At that instant the atheist cried out: “Oh my God!…”

Time stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

It was then that bright light shone upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: “You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don’t exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?”

“Very well,” said the voice.

The light went out.

And the sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke,
“Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful.”

]]> http://www.damnitdan.com/2006/01/15/an-atheist-was-taking-a-walk-through-the-woods/feed/ 0